Wisdom from Grandpa

(Valentine’s Party Skit)

 

by

Alberta Fisher

 

Cast:

 

          Narrator (male or female)

          Grandpa Romeo (A male dressed in overalls and straw hat and walking with a cane.  Grandpa should speak in a southern accent, if possible.)

         

Narrator:

 

          We are aware that sometimes young and old people alike have questions about dating, marriage, etc.  We knew it would be impossible to bring Dr. Phil here to answer your questions, but we were able to bring another distinguished guest to take his place.  Even though you probably have not heard of this person, he is a noted personality in the field of absolutely nothing.  He comes to us with a wealth of knowledge and words of wisdom on love.  Please welcome Grandpa Romeo.

 

Grandpa Romeo:

 

          Howdy.  I am so glad you invited me to cum her and share with ya.  I want to give ya the top ten “words of wisdom” according to me.

 

10.           Marriage is a three ring circus:  engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

 

9.               Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred.

 

8.               The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is kept up.

 

7.               If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag.

 

6.               Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin’ his salt that he forgets his sugar.

 

5.               A foolish husband says to his wife, “Honey, you stick to the washin’, ironin’, cookin’ and scrubbin’ because no wife of mine is going to work.

 

4.               Whatever you may look like, marry someone your own age – as your beauty fades, so will their eyesight.

 

3.               Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

 

2.               When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one to become.

 

1.               The secret of a happy marriage remains – a “secret”.

 

          I hope ya’all will remember what I told ya!

 

Narrator:

 

          Thanks, Grandpa Romeo, for coming tonight.  Thank you for your unusual “words of wisdom” on love.  Have a good trip back to the farm.